If you ask a child what an IM is, they can usually tell you. Instant messages are part of a culture where things come immediately. Kids may be learning that intimacy happens in a one-hour show, money can be expected to be made without hard work and sacrifice, and media is accessible and a massive part of daily living. The changes in the next generation and their access and understanding call for vigilant and effortful parenting. Kids will get messages and maybe the messages parents don't want. Let's talk about ways parents can talk to their children about the topics of media, money, and intimacy.
Let's talk about media.
This video shares ideas regarding social media and device usage.
As media use is conveniently connected to the palm of our hands, devices in families should be included as part of a family media inventory. It really starts with parents. Familytoday.com shares some questions for parents who may need to "de-vice" their parenting (Rarick). A questionnaire might be needed to help parents reflect on personal media and device usage. Follow this link for 5 simple questions, some statistics, and steps that might surprise you. The five question are in big bold print.After reading the statistics, a parent might see that simple changes can impact their ability to parent and connect with their child. Conversations about media use and devices should be visited regularly. Educate yourself as a parent to know more about the apps and social media, especially those with security and disappearing features. Just talk about it.
Let's talk about money.
Money seems to be a pervasive motivator to people. The changes we see in our culture for making money while you play or giving kids everything they want without contribution and sacrifice are contributing factors to kids not learning to work. Some parents have neglected to teach children how to earn and spend money entirely. Some lessons we can teach children are how to work hard and do their best in any job. This foundational learning spreads beyond money by working hard to complete a goal or learn self-mastery. Parents can start the process of teaching kids how money works and how it connects to essential life skills.
Several resources below may be helpful to parents, even if their kids are older.
Teach kids the Value of Money.
YouTube channel Learning Mole videos with younger kids talking about money
Teach kids to work and save.
Rachelle Cruze teaches about kids and money.
Teach kids to understand how money works.
Bankruptcy Attorney, Lane V. Erikson about financial well-being.
5 Steps to Financial Well Being
Family Guide to Finances:
Marvin J. Ashton shares with families how to involve children in work, budgeting, and finances. Money then becomes a family affair and they can work together.
Let's talk about intimacy.
You might be familiar with "the talk". Schools have taken on a huge role in teaching sexual education to kids, but what about intimacy? The talk about intimacy starts when kids are very young. They start to learn how bodies are different, when it's appropriate to hug someone, personal space, how to be a good friend, and what it means to be love someone else. As parents, you know your child best and when they are emotionally ready to learn about sexual intimacy. Ready of Not, You Will be Taught by Boyd K. Packer has some thoughts about the important role parents play in teaching children about sex education. If you wonder what to say and when to talk to your kids, this parent's guide can be a helpful resource.
Parents Guide to Teaching Intimacy
Another resource are these videos talking about how to talk about intimacy.
Start talking about intimacy early.
Keep in mind:
-All of these topics are involve keeping conversations going in your parenting.
-Kids will learn from somewhere about each of these things. Let that be from you or resources that will build healthy, confident adults.
-It's far more uncomfortable to have children suffer from lack of knowledge, then to hear from their parents a messages on these subjects.
Just talk about it.
References:
Ashton, M J. (2006)."One for the Money," The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. doi: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf
Erikson, L. (March 2004. "Five Steps to Financial Well-Being." Churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2004/03/five-steps-to-financial-well-being?lang=eng
[Learning Mole]. (Jan. 10. 2018)"Financial Literacy for Kids - Finances for Kids - Financial Capability - Teaching Kids About Money." YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxmTTvGezro
Packer, B. (December 1977). "Ready or Not, They Will Be Taught," The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/1977/12/ready-or-not-you-will-be-taught?lang=eng
[Picture] Devices. Istockphoto.com. https://www.istockphoto.com/search/2/image?phrase=phone+clip+art
Puga, L. [Leona Puga]. (Feb. 5 2018). "Smart Money, Smart Kids By Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze at Gateway Church," (Video). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRuoUPNh3wc
Rarick, Tim. "Do you need to de-vice your parenting? Here are 5 ways to get started." Familytoday.com, Family. https://www.familytoday.com/family/do-you-need-to-de-vice-your-parenting-here-are-5-ways-to-get-started/
Shefali, [Dr. Shefali]. (June 2019). "Before your kids use social media."(Video). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zQFd3lkn4E
[The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints]. (March 2017). "How to talk to your kids about intimacy." (Video). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxxguxJWZoA
[The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints]. (February 2013). "Mormons about sexual intimacy makes me uncomfortable. (Video). YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa7pghxRV1s
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (1985)."A Parent's Guide." (Manual). https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng
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